Have you ever wondered what depression feels like? Have you ever been curious about how painful a panic attack can be, one when you can hardly breathe and the only thing you want is to die? Have you ever wanted to understand the terrible fatigue, when you don't even have enough energy to get out of bed? Have you ever wanted to see the world through the eyes of a mentally sick person?
Then you are at the right place, I will do my best to cast at least some light onto the issues we have to endure.
I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder [1], together with dependent personality disorder [2]. And through these primal conditions, depression and anxiety soon joined in. My sickness can't be seen, most of the time I look totally "normal", perhaps just slightly strange. But then, suddenly, an attack comes. I have been working hard with many doctors and therapists, with various rate of success. This blog is also (but not only) meant to track the effect of those procedures on me. I have been trying to be as honest and as open as possible so maybe after reading some of my posts, you will be able to understand people with personality disorders slightly better.
However, I don't want to write only about problems or their potential solutions. I also wish to share other aspects of my life - for example, I keep trying to pursue my hobbies, such as music, art and geocaching, and I am also trying to finish my University degree. Fortunately, there is not just the sickness within me, there is also the world, which is all around here. So you will be able to find for instance some posts about the concerts I will have attended or the people I will have met, stories or poems I will have written or read, and maybe I will even mention my travels or anything else I will have encountered and wished to tell you.
Just a few notes, reminders I feel I should give in advance:
- Feel free to comment but let me apologize in advance that often I don't have enough energy to reply or even to read extended amounts of text. The same applies to sharing potentially interesting articles with me - although they are definitely great, I will most likely not have enough energy to read them.
- I have never studied philosophy or psychology so it is more than likely that many of my thoughts have already been covered in one of these disciplines. So please excuse my lack of knowledge and feel free to drop a comment (to which, however, the former point applies).
- If you don't agree with me, you can of course express yourself, but do not expect me to disagree back. I have no energy for arguments so I will likely just thank you for the opinion.
- I have professional help, whose advice I take very seriously. You can of course give me some as well, but please do not expect me to automatically follow it.
- I am not a native English speaker so my language skills are far from perfect. Therefore, if you have the urge to correct my mistakes, please do so, I will try to learn from them.
Here you can read something about the conditions I have been diagnosed:
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